Today my heart felt light. It has been exactly one week since I learned my father was facing a terminal illness. A one week block of time and a wild swing of emotions. None of them being joy. Today the joy came back, it snuck into my heart and spread a smile across my face when I least expected it.
On Maui, on this beach which has become ours. The sound of the waves is cathartic and the lift of tension is palpable. Sneaking a peek under the blanket, I am greeted by the cross eyed grin of my youngest son. He coos out to me and squeals so loudly he startles even himself. I laugh and it feels good. My laughter causes him to squeal again and the cycle repeats itself over and over again.
How I wish I could be as carefree as my children as they dance in the sand and chase the waves. Their joy rises above the crash of the surf and for just a moment in time I feel it too. These three little children entrusted to my care, and all of them, so full of happiness. They are exuberant and it is contagious. I tuck this memory securely in my mind so that I can revisit it from time to time.
The laughter of my children is like salve for my weary soul. There are many days of doubt and darkness ahead, of this I am sure. But for today, for this moment, I am grateful for the joyous reminder that life goes on.
Written February 18, 2007
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