Thursday, November 29, 2007

Top Priority

From This

To This

My first miscarriage was in July of 2001. Infertility then consumed my life for five long years. Some day soon I will write my story; some day when the pain of that experience is not so fresh. For though I have the most happy of endings, those feelings of longing for this child are still tangible in my heart.

Last week as I was enjoying my final day of vacation, my brother teased me that he had done more in the past two hours than I would do all day. True that he had already run 5 miles and made a few sales calls while I was happily lounging on the patio in my jammies while feeding my sweet baby.

"Maybe so." I retorted, "But this, holding this baby, feeding this baby, is the most important thing I could be doing."

He knows it is true and so do I.

I don't know if I can adequately articulate the happiness our baby Miles has brought to our lives. I knew him before he was born, and yet, in all of my yearning, in all of the moments I spent envisioning him in our family, I never understood the inexplicable and complete joy he would bring to our home. I have delighted in him. Day in and day out. I have savored each moment of his first year, wanting to relish this precious time.

While I have loved each of my babies, I don't know if I fully appreciated them or enjoyed them in quite the same way as I have Miles. I wake up every day, every day, feeling transcedently blessed. I have a sense of reverent, radiant gratitude that is sweeter for having experienced its opposite.

Happy First Birthday my Darling Baby. It's been an amazing adventure.


Brooke said...

happy birthday sweet miles!

and thank you for the reminder to cherish all these blessed moments.

roderickmom said...

I say amen to that. He truly is our angel baby. He is the Joy in our lives!!!!!

Melissa said...

He really is so sweet and I know how much he belongs in your family. Happy Birthday!

Brooke said...

This entry is beautiful! I am so happy to have Miles in our family. He is a true blessing. I also can't wait to see him. He's gotten so much bigger since I saw him last!

:) Brooke

Chelle said...

What beautiful words, Jill. There were parts that brought tears to my eyes. Just beautiful... and happy birthday to that lil nugget.

whitney said...

happy birthday baby miles!!! You make the journey worth it 100%! Your words made me cry (again) Jilly! we love you both!