Monday, February 16, 2009

I Miss


I miss him.

Yesterday marked the four month anniversary of his death. In some ways it seems like yesterday and in some ways it feels like forever.


I've been sick now for an entire week. In all my life I don't remember being this sick. And something about feeling so yucky makes me emotional and sad. I miss my dad.


When I was put down on bedrest with my last baby, my dad sent me a dozen roses. He called me everyday just to check in. I've been thinking about all of the little things he did like that to make me feel loved. I miss him.


It isn't that I'm not in good hands. I have the best husband and mother. My in-laws have been amazing, my friends incredible. But something is missing.

Someone is missing.

And I'm really feeling it this week.

8 comments:

Brooke said...

I miss him so much too. It seems like I cry every single day because there's so much that reminds me of him. Seeing the pearls he gave me, smelling someone wearing his cologne, red roses. He's everywhere and I'm sad because I miss him but happy that he was such a wonderful super grandpa. Call me if you need to talk and/or cry with me. Love you.

Jill said...

Brookie...your comment made me weep. Love and miss you.

Brooke said...

jilly. i'm sorry. can i have miles on wednesday? i'm having playgroup at my house and he fit right in...

Laurel said...

consider this comment a dozen roses... and know that I have to believe he miss YOU too.
xoxo

Carlee said...

I miss him everyday too. I don't think there's been a day I haven't thought about him. I was recently at the dentist and had "a moment" I know, at the dentist right? Well, my dentist was talking about the nutcracker in Salt Lake for some reason and I mentioned to her as my mouth is OPEN that my grandpa would take us every year as kids to the nutcracker. When she was finished with my mouth she said "okay, you have to tell me about this grandpa of yours. There aren't many men who will attend the ballet. He must be a great grandpa." then the flood gates opened!! There I was crying in the dentist chair..I told her he recently passed away and she began crying with me. She them told me her grandma passed away nearly 20 years ago and she still often finds herself picking up the phone to call her grandma..This reminded me of the many times I've scrolled through my contacts staring at the contact "Gramps" wanting to call and talk to him. I think we'll find ourselves often thinking of him and talking to him even 20 years from now, but we all know that he's somewhere close supporting us through life. I highly recommend female dentists after my break down!! I hope you're feeling better..Love you

Jill said...

Carlee, I still have three voicemails from him saved on my phone. I can't bear to erase them, but I can't bear to listen to them either. Love and Miss you.

The Baker Three said...

Hi! I saw that you were listed on Tuesday Tell All as participating in it. I just wanted to let you know that I have set up a new blog to carry on the idea. We’d love you to stop by:
www.tellallontuesday.blogspot.com. Thanks:)

PS - I just read this entry (I always feel like such a snoop when I read a strangers blog), but I wanted to let you know that I understand. I lost had a miscarriage three weeks ago, and then my dad died the following week. His home number in England is still saved as "Mum & Dad" even though my mum died 4 years ago aswell. The only thing that helps is to knwo we will be together again. Thanks for your heartfelt post:)

Miss Molly said...

Jill,
Always a pleasure reading your blogs. I think I am going to direct my own father to your blog so that he will know NOW how much he is loved and how much I too, will miss him when he's gone.

I'm so sorry. I hope Spring brings some hope.