Wednesday, June 27, 2007

No Words

This morning was lazy, all of us a bit worn out from our late night at the Miss Utah Pageant. Tony took the kids to get a bagel and Miles and I stayed in our jammies until eleven.

"Do me a favor and write something on your blog today so I can read it." A simple request from Tony that made me pause and smile. I like that he enjoys my blog, I like that he wants new material, that he supports me in this release that is my writing.

The day was shaping up to be manageable in comparison to the past few weeks. Very few places to go and things to do, certainly today my schedule would allow an indulgent half hour spent at the computer. And I have lots of things to write about just drifting around inside my brain, so many thoughts needing to be recorded.

But then it came. A phone call which changed the course of the day. A heartfelt, but very painful conversation. A call which will certainly change and shape the days ahead. Decisions made beyond my control but which will have an enormous impact on my life and on those that I love.

I am concerned. I am confused. I disagree. I am empty. I have no words.

While I cannot adequately articulate this hurt even to Tony, I am lucky to have him. For I do not need his words to comfort me, only his arms around me, safe and quiet enough to calm my troubled heart.

3 comments:

whit said...

Jilly-
I just got back in town, so anxious to read any new 'blogging' of yours. This one left me anxious to talk to you. I hope you are OK? I love you.

tammy hall said...

my heart aches for you. I hope and pray that you will be given the strength to get through what it is that has you at a loss for words. If you need to do lunch let me know- today is the last day of school for my girls and am already wishing that Monday was August 27th! But then I am reminded that "raising good kids is really hard work!" I love your guts and admire you so much!!!! xoxo tam

mom said...

It will be o.k. It has to.